Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
