i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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