everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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