if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
