just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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