He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
NoShamevember. You game?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
