Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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