Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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