even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
