Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
His nipple licking is glorious
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