Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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