As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
