I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
