He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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