i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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