how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
