So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
