Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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