the condom got lost in my hair
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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