On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
