Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize