You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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