I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
