Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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