no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize