let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize