There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i may or may not be watching the land before time
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
