You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
