I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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