so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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