guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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