just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
