why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
