Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is not my ceiling
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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