Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
