Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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