12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
