There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
