Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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