There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
