I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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