A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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