i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
