Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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