I love black thongs
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
