Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
