The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
