yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
