We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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