Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
