I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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