cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize