I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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