This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
