We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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