id be glad to
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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