He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
