I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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