I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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