We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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