omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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