I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
