I think I won the penis lottery.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
