Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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