proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
