in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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